Courtroom Presentations, Inc.

Friday’s Three Burning Legal Questions

cpi — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:00:06 +0000

Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: Where can I go in New York to meet top business executives and political figures? I’m trying to think outside of the box a bit here. Answer: Try the Midstate Correctional Facility. It is reportedly "amazing" for that type of networking. (New York Daily News, Rapper Ja Rule, serving two years for gun possession, finds new posse behind bars) 2) Question: I’m one of the best high school linebackers in the country. I was deciding between scholarships offers from Clemson to Auburn, and ultimately chose Auburn because when I visited Clemson they had no Chick-fil-A on campus. But after I signed my National Letter of Intent saying I would attend Auburn, I learned that there was, in fact, a Chick-fil-A on the Clemson campus. D’oh!! Is my Letter of Intent binding? Answer: According to the NCAA, your NLI is, in fact, binding and if you breach it and attend a different school you will lose one season of competition in your sport. On the bright side, you have a Chick-fil-A in your future no matter what you do! (Dr. Saturday, Cassanova McKinzy spurned…
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Wednesday’s Three Burning Legal Questions

cpi — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:00:07 +0000

Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I’m at the public library in Seattle with my grade school-age daughter. There’s a guy in the middle of the library looking at hard-core pornography on one of the library’s computers! Can he do that?! This is very uncomfortable! Answer: The Seattle public library "facilitates access to constitutionally protected information," and will not compromise freedom of speech or censor information. The porn stays. (Consumerist, Should Libraries Let People Look At Porn In The Open?) 2) Question: I applied early admission to college. I went online yesterday and was thrilled to learn that I had been admitted! The admission letter instructed me to withdraw my applications to other schools, which I did right away. But when I went online later to check out the letter again there was a notice that the acceptance letter had been a mistake and I was actually rejected. Now what?? Answer: Oooofffff. That hurts, sorry. The same thing happened at Vassar recently, so keep an eye on how things shake out there. (NBC New York, Dozens of Vassar College Applicants Mistakenly Get Admissions Letters) 3) Question: I’m about to…
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Friday’s Three Burning Legal Questions

cpi — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:00:09 +0000

Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I was arrested last week for trespassing and sent to jail. I am scheduled to be released today on my own recognizance but I cannot find my wallet! Can I simply refuse to leave jail until I find it? Answer: Yes. But you will be arrested again for disorderly conduct. (The Associated Press, AZ inmate arrested for refusing to leave lockup) 2) Question: If I agree to perform a sex act on a man in exchange for a $2 bill, three $1 bills and an assortment of change, does that constitute prostitution? Answer: Yes, even receiving that $6 will makes you a pro. (Shelby Star, Police: $6 sex act leads to prostitution charge) 3) Question: I found a million-dollar winning lottery ticket in the "discarded tickets" bin at a convenience store. I want to cash it, but the store manager now says she is entitled to all discarded tickets placed in the bin, and the person who says she accidentally discarded the ticket says it belongs to her! Who gets the million dollars? Answer: The lottery commission will likely pay you the money….
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Trust Me, I’m an Expert: Smothering by Labrador Retriever

cpi — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:00:03 +0000

As I have begun to chronicle in my ongoing "Trust Me, I’m an Expert" series of posts, courts have not hesitated to deem people experts in fields such as "smell" and "lap dancing." On the other hand, courts have refused to accept proposed experts in the field of "shit" and "pimping." Now, I’ve learned that in a criminal trial where the defendant is alleged to have strangled his wife, but contends that it wasn’t he who caused her death but a canine, the court may allow the prosecution to present expert testimony on the possibility of smothering-by-dog. Specifically, a 50-year-old man is on trial in Germany for manslaughter after his wife was found strangled to death in their bathroom. According to The Local, the defendant says he and his wife drank heavily the night of her death, and that at one point she fell over in the bathroom and he could not lift her. The defendant claims that he provided his wife with a pillow and a blanket, went to bed, and later awoke to find her dead — smothered by their 75-pound Labrador Retriever, he speculates. The man’s lawyer argued that, since it is known that dogs sometimes accidentally…
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Monday’s Three Burning Legal Questions

cpi — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:00:06 +0000

Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I’m on the school board. We asked the future students of a new school that is under construction to choose a mascot, and they picked "Cougars." Can we ban this choice as being "disrespectful to women?" Answer: It is your school district, so it is your call. But you know that cougars are also cats, right? (CBS Las Vegas, Utah School Board Says Cougar Mascot Too Offensive To Women) 2) Question: The guy in the cell next to me says he is doing prison time because he spray-painted the wings of hawks to trick bird-watchers into believing they had discovered a new species of bird. That cannot be true, right? Answer: Actually, that happens sometimes. That is the crime of "ill-treating an animal." (Herald Sun, Farmer’s spray paint prank raised bird watchers’ hopes of a new species) 3) Question: I am a ship captain. I know ship captains are not suppose to abandon ship, but as my ship was sinking I accidentally tripped into a lifeboat. I mean, I’m already in the lifeboat!! What am I supposed to get out or something? Answer:…
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Things You Can’t Do on a Plane: Vol. 11

cpi — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:00:05 +0000

You might think that after Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, Volume 5, Volume 6, Volume 7, Volume 8, Volume 9 and Volume 10 of Things You Can’t Do on a Plane, that we’d have exhausted the list of things you can’t do on a plane. Nope! The list grows daily. Here are three more things I’ve recently learned that you cannot do on a plane: Accidentally play a pre-recorded message over the plane’s intercom system that the plane will need to make an emergency landing on water. Airline crew should not erroneously play a pre-recorded emergency announcement about an imminent emergency water landing. CONSEQUENCE: Crew will need to inform 330 panicked passengers of the mistake and apologize for causing them "undue concern." Refuse to sit down in your seat until flight staff bring you champagne and food. Couples traveling together may not jointly refuse to sit down while repeatedly demanding champagne and food. CONSEQUENCE: Couple will be forced to exit plane and airline will alert FBI. Attempt to board a rival company’s plane and review documents. Airline personnel may not try to board a rival airline’s plane to "have a look at it" out of "curiosity" and…
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Wednesday’s Three Burning Legal Questions

cpi — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 20:00:06 +0000

Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I am a lawyer and I have been asked to represent a man who has stabbed not one but two prior lawyers in their necks with pencils. Do you think I should take the case, provided I can ensure that there are no pencils in the area when we are together? Answer: Please don’t overlook the sharpness and stabbing capabilities of other writing utensils, such as pens. (HeraldNet, Suspect allegedly stabs his third defense attorney) (via Lowering the Bar) 2) Question: I recently learned that my husband has been having regular sessions with a sex robot. Can I use this against him in our pending divorce? Answer: I direct you to Sonya Ziaja’s recent paper entitled, "Homewrecker 2.0: An Exploration of Liability for Heart Balm Torts Involving A.I. Humanoid Consorts." (Jonathan Turley, Robot Love?) 3) Question: I am in law enforcement and I was entrusted with a secret dossier detailing site-by-site security plans for the 2012 London Olympics. However, I think I left the dossier on the train this morning. Now what do I do? Answer: If you are lucky, maybe one of…
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Friday’s Three Burning Legal Questions

cpi — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:00:08 +0000

Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I am the mugshot photographer at a jail. This entire head of a guy who the police just arrested is covered in some kind of white powder. Are we supposed to clean him up first or something? This was not covered in the training. Answer: Naahhh. Just take the picture. (Miami New Times, Mugshots Friday: Why is This Man Covered In Powder?) 2) Question: I work at a government agency. Ever since the agency fixed the drinking fountains they took away our free bottled water. Unacceptable! Can the employees sue to get the bottled water back? Answer: Yes, but the D.C. Circuit says you will probably lose. (The Volokh Conspiracy, No Bottled Water on Uncle Sam’s Dime) 3) Question: My son is a good boy who is on the honor roll at school. He is also a Baltimore Ravens fan — why won’t the school let him wear his "Ball So Hard" sweatshirt? Answer: It’s OK now. "Ball So Hard" gear has been cleared by the school board. (BelAir Patch, Student Reprimanded for ‘Ball So Hard University’ Sweatshirt)
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‘Silent Witness’ Organization Solves Crimes by Providing Witnesses With Anonymity, Cash Rewards

cpi — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:00:05 +0000

Hundreds of Circle K stores in Arizona have begun posting store surveillance photos and videos from robberies and thefts at Circle K to the chain’s Crime Busters page on Facebook. Circle K partners with an organization called Silent Witness to provide people who can identify the perpetrators in the surveillance tapes with an anonymous and sometimes financially rewarding way to work with authorities. Specifically, Circle K says on its Crime Busters site, it uses the surveillance photos to help identify repeat offenders to police, and it reimburses crime-stopper programs such as Silent Witness that reward individuals who identify suspect and lead to a felony arrest and indictment. Silent Witness is an organization with the mission of partnering with citizens, media and law enforcement to prevent crime in Arizona. It posts photos and other details about unsolved crimes on its website, and provides various methods for citizens to anonymously submit tips. In addition to anonymity, Silent Witness says that tipsters are "eligible to receive a cash reward if the information leads to an arrest or grand jury indictment of a felony offender." On the Silent Witness website, there are links to items such as the "Crime of the Week," about which…
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Thursday’s Three Burning Legal Questions

cpi — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 20:00:03 +0000

Here are today’s three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I have an Illinois furbearer license to sell animal pelts. Does Illinois law allow me to grab some freebie pelts from roadkill? Answer: As of Jan. 1, a new Illinois statute allows furbearers like yourself to salvage pelts or even food from roadkill. (The Associated Press, Illinois law lets motorists salvage fur, food from roadkill) 2) Question: The guy in the jail cell next to me down here in Orlando, Fla., says he is doing time for writing on a sidewalk with chalk. He is pulling my leg, right? Answer: Maybe not! (Orlando Sentinel, Jail for using chalk on sidewalk? City needs to erase this error) (via Legal Juice) 3) Question: I was working at the Circle K when three robbers showed up, looked at me and yelled "shoot him, shoot him!" I somehow managed to throw one of the robbers to the ground and grab the gun, foiling the robbery! What do you think I might get for this act of heroism? Answer: Probably fired. Circle K policy states that clerks are not to provoke, chase or engage a robber. (FOX10TV, Sales…
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